Behind Those Eyes
by MapleRose
Summary: What is it that makes us who we are? How could someone be identical to him, yet so different? Oneshot look at Murrue's relationship with Neo. MwuMurrue, NeoMurrue


_SPOILER WARNING: Events from end of GSEED, and from Phase 33 to 46 of GSD, canon events between Murrue and Neo._

_Summary: What is it that makes us who we are? How could someone be identical to him, yet so different? One-shot look at Murrue's relationship with Neo. Mwu/Murrue, Neo/Murrue_

_Italics: _thoughts, flashbacks

* * *

BEHIND THOSE EYES

by MapleRose

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"This Mwu guy, what is he to you?" asked the man sitting in the infirmary.

She paused, a bit startled at his sudden question.

"A comrade," she finally replied. "An irreplaceable one." She turned away so he wouldn't see the tears gathering in her eyes. "But he's not here anymore."

"_Irony abounds in warfare"_

Irony indeed. It had been two years since that fateful day. It seemed that Murrue had finally be able to accept the truth, and perhaps even able to move on. No, she didn't forget him—she would never forget him—but she'd learned to live without him. However, it seemed that Fate liked to surprise her.

She had never expected this to happen, as she walked amidst the debris in Berlin, to see a man who was identical to her beloved. No words could describe her shock—no, it was beyond shock, as she stared at the man lying unconscious in front of her. Then there was hope. It bubbled up inside her, bringing joy to her heart. _Could it be, could it really be him?_ Then imagine her delight as the doctors did a check-up on him and proclaimed that he _was_ indeed identical to him.

"Why are you keeping me here?" the man's voice broke into her thoughts. He pulled on the chains on his wrists to emphasize his point.

She didn't answer, because she didn't have an answer to his question. Why was she keeping him on board? Just because he looks like him doesn't mean—

Murrue walked out of the infirmary as tears threatened to spill, leaving the man staring after her retreating figure in confusion.

Why is she keeping him on board? This man was not Mwu, he even said so himself. Although his physical and genetic data matched 100 percent with that of Mwu's, Murrue knew that deep down, he's not Mwu, at least, not _her_ Mwu.

But even so, she found that she often came to the infirmary, just wanting to be with him, hoping, hoping that he was who she _wanted_ him to be.

She would come to watch him as he slept, smiling at the rise and fall of his chest and the face that is so familiar and dear to her. In his slumber, he was so peaceful, and seemed just like the Mwu she knew.

However, as soon as he woke up, reality came crashing down on her, reminding her that her wishes were just that. For he didn't remember her, or what they'd been through. And even though his voice was the same, he didn't sound like her Mwu. It lacked the playful and cheery tone that she knew. Even though his eyes were the same shade of blue, they held none of that spark, the childish innocence, the laughter, and the love. She saw only confusion in these eyes. This man acted differently as well. Although she saw bits of his sarcasm peeking through, this man lacked Mwu's good humour and cheer. And while her Mwu had always been able to make her smile and cheer her up when she was in a tough situation, this man before her only brought her tears and confusion.

_What is it that makes us who we are? Our DNA, our genetic code? Or it is our memories, that which are so precious to us? How could someone be identical to him, yet so different?_

She'd usually leave the room before he could talk to her. She didn't want her own painful memories to come back.

So why was he still here even though it brought her so much pain? Murrue didn't know. But it could be due to her selfish and childish wish that because of his genetic programming, he would one day _become_ her Mwu.

"_A name is what signifies the existence of an object. Therefore, if the name is false, then its existence is also false."_

He said his name was Neo, though nobody called him that on the Archangel, especially Kira. He seemed to firmly believe that this was indeed the Commander, for despite his constant protests and corrections, Kira would always refer to him as "Mwu-san". Perhaps it was because Kira had even more faith than she did, or maybe it was simply out of habit.

As for Murrue, she'd never called the man by name. It was always "you" when she did talk to him. Because she knew that if she called him by his new name, she would be admitting to herself that this wan was not, and never will be, her Mwu. But she didn't call him "Mwu" either. She couldn't bring herself to do it, to associate this man who was so Not-Mwu with the man she loved so dearly.

* * *

"You better go, you'll only get hurt again if you stay here."

She turned away from him, hiding her tears once again. She didn't know why she was letting him go. Perhaps she'd come to the realization that this man will never be her Mwu, and accepted the fact that her Mwu was gone forever. She didn't want this man here to remind her anymore. It was her that would be hurt again if he stayed.

With that, she walked away. She didn't see the sad and confused expression on the man's face as he watched her go.

* * *

"Captain, it's the Skygrasper!"

Murrue looked up in surprise as a familiar blue and white plane streaked across the sky beside the Archangel.

"Sorry for doing something unnecessary," his face came onto the monitor. Her eyes widened. Didn't she tell him to leave?

"Don't worry, you'll win," he flashed a grin that tugged at her memory. "Besides, I'm the man who makes the impossible possible!"

Murrue's heart clenched at those words, as the scene of that fateful day played back in her mind. Those were his last words to her. She struggled to regain her composure.

_Why did you come back?_

* * *

"So there you are," she called to him as she came up onto the deck. She didn't know what possessed her to find and talk to him.

"Neo Lorrnoke, Captain of the Girty Lue of the Earth Alliance. That's what I'm supposed to be," he said, staring into the sunset.

Murrue was a bit surprised. Why was he telling her this?

She was even more surprised as he turned his gaze at her. There was such intensity in those eyes.

"But when I got on this ship, and met you, I, I'm not sure anymore. I feel as if…" He stepped closer, his gaze still fixed on her.

"No, I _do_ know you."

Murrue's eyes widened. "What are you—"

"That's why I couldn't fly away." He looked down before locking his gaze with hers again.

"Will you," he came closer and placed his hands on both of her shoulders. "Will you let me stay here, with you?"

Murrue gasped. His voice echoed in her thoughts.

"_That's why I couldn't fly away."_

"_Commander, back at JOSH-A, why did you come back?"_

"_Oh, thanks for reminding me, I almost forgot. I came back because I forgot to do something!"_

She nodded slightly. Tears began to well up as he took her in his arms, but this time, they were tears of joy.

"Thank you."

His embrace was so warm, so comforting, and so familiar. It felt…so right.

"Mwu…" she whispered as she closed her eyes and returned his embrace.

_You always seem to find ways to come back to me, don't you…_

* * *

"Well Murrue-san, we'll be off."

"Alright Kira-kun, be careful," she answered as the transmission ended.

"Are you sure it's okay?" a voice came from beside her.

"Huh? Oh, they'll be fine, Kira-kun and Athrun-kun can take care of themselves," she answered and turned to leave.

"I meant, are you alright?"

Murrue stopped in mid-step and turned to face him, surprised at his sudden concern for her, and the gentle smile on his face.

"You've been stuck on this ship for a while too, haven't you? If you want to go out for some fresh air, I'll be glad to accompany you." He winked.

She smiled and turned her head to hide her blush. "Thanks, but I'm fine."

"Well, in that case, why don't we take a walk around the ship," he reached over and wrapped an arm around her waist."

"W-Wait!" She tried to pull free of his grasp, but he wouldn't let her and guided her towards the elevator.

* * *

"I-I'm sorry." He said, breaking the silence as they floated down the empty corridor of the Archangel.

"Hmm?" she looked up, surprised at his sudden apology. "What for?"

"I—" he stopped and looked down, away from her. Concerned, Murrue placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for saying those things to you, it must've been difficult for you. I, I seem to always make you cry." He turned to face her, his eyes sincere.

She was taken aback by his words. "No, it's—"

"And I'm sorry that I'm not your 'Mwu'." There was such sadness and apology in his eyes that made Murrue unable to look at them, so she turned away quickly.

"_Is the real one always right, and the imposter always evil?"_

Tears rolled down her face once again. She quickly wiped them away. These tears, they were tears of guilt. No, she was the one who was wrong, the one who should be apologizing, because she was so selfish.

She had been comparing him to her Mwu instead of seeing him for who _he _was, because she was unable, or rather, unwilling, to accept the fact that her Mwu was really gone. She had been wallowing in her own sorrows that she failed to notice the fact that he was in confusion and pain as much as she was. She only saw what he lacked that she didn't see the kindness and concern that he'd been trying to show her.

"No," she took a deep breath and turned to face him. "I'm the one who should apologize. I wanted you to be somebody who's not here anymore, that I didn't even consider _your_ feelings."

She was surprised as he pulled her into his embrace, allowing her to cry openly on his shoulder.

For some reason, she found that although it did hurt a lot to finally admit to her heart that the old Mwu was really gone, it didn't bother her as much as she thought it would that she was falling for this man before her.

And looking up, she found herself looking into those blue eyes that held kindness and compassion, with a hint of an old, familiar spark.

_But he _is _here. After all, his soul is still there, behind those eyes._

END

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AN: this was my first GS/GSD fanfic. I absolutely adore the Mwu/Murrue pairing. But I do like the Neo/Murrue relationship, for its angst factor. I think the Neo/Mwu and Murrue relationship was the only relationship that they did right in Destiny. it was soft, subtle, and sweet. I think Murrue started liking Neo not just because he is (was?) Mwu, but for who he is, and the fact that he came back to her once again is so sweet. Although Neo's origins and the fact that the masked Neo suddenly became Mwu-ish when the mask came off was a bit shady, the relationship was good. almost as good as the original Mwu/Murrue in SEED (almost, but not quite :D )

Also, all except the last scene was taken from the original show. I may have changed things a bit in terms of conversation etc.

Some bits in italics in quotations are quotes from various characters in SEED and Destiny, I put them there because they fit the theme.

Reviews welcome! and if anyone has a good suggestion for a better title, please tell me!


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